Handling online conflict well

New technology and the human need to connect.

During the coronavirus pandemic, we’ve had good reason to be glad of new technology. Love it or hate it, Zoom videoconferencing has brought a new verb into common use! We humans are social animals and it’s important for our mental and physical health that we can connect with others – be it in person or online.

When connections lead to conflict

These days, parents and teachers are well-versed in the need to be alert to the risks for young people online. But given how common it is for friends to connect via social media, how confident are you to support them in dealing with everyday online conflict and to develop strategies for staying friends? At CRESST, our work is with young people as well as for young people and so we’ve been exploring online conflict for a number of years now. As a result of this we’ve published a free resource for 11-18 year olds: AntiSocial Media.

Why is it so easy for conflict to escalate online?

Any conflict can escalate – what’s brilliant is how many don’t! It’s very common to catch a conversation going awry, notice that what we’ve said has been taken the wrong way or realise someone is feeling upset. Then we can take action to make a change – or to push the ‘stop’ button on the conflict escalator – so we don’t get carried away. When we’re communicating with people face to face, we use all kinds of information to know what’s going on for them: things like facial expressions, body language and tone of voice.

When we’re communicating online, particularly in text formats, we lose a lot of the information we rely on to interpret what other people really mean. When we’re not in the same place together, it’s all too easy to get carried away on that conflict escalator – because we haven’t really understood what’s happening.

AntiSocial Media tells a story of everyday online conflict between friends. It shows how easily conflict can escalate online and sets out practical steps that can be taken to help resolve it.

Practical strategies that can help

Using straight-forward language and engaging illustrations, AntiSocial Media explains how conflict escalates and what you can do to help de-escalate it. Simple strategies that can make a big difference:

• using emoticons to show your intended tone of voice
• re-reading a post when you’re feeling calm
• checking and clarifying that you’ve understood what’s intended

It’s a short booklet packed full of useful information and ideas.

Make a difference – spread the word

We’ve heard from many of the young people we work with that online conflict happens frequently and they don’t always know what to do about it. That’s why we’ve made this resource available for free on our website – please download it for your school and help us to spread the word!

For over twenty years, CRESST has been working with schools, developing practical models to enable children, young people and adults to manage conflict constructively. If you’d like to get our regular update on Handling conflict well, why not join our mailing list? You can sign up here.